Following on from my previous blog which discussed 5 common habits which keep Mums (and many women in general) feeling tired, overwhelmed or lacking vitality, here are 5 more!
Getting rundown and putting up with chronic hormonal imbalances or other health issues..
Many women enter motherhood depleted from pregnancy, become further depleted through breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, missing meals or going for convenience foods then maybe becoming pregnant again and potentially running themselves into the ground year after year..
I see many Mums who are chronically depleted in various nutrients with the most common being magnesium, omega- 3 fatty acids, zinc, iron, vitamin D, iodine and B group vitamins. All of these are essential to the optimal functioning of your body and for mood, stress resistance, hormone balance, energy production and hormone balance.
Many women come to see me after years of never feeling quite right, often following a pregnancy. As Mums we tend to attend very quickly to any of our children’s health concerns but often just put up with our own, operating with below par health, sometimes for years. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation and stress can all have on-going influences on our hormones. Lots of women with tendencies to postnatal depression or anxiety or thyroid issues will struggle along until things reach breaking point before getting help. Remember that you must look after yourself to be able to look after anyone else!
ACTION
Invest in your health after pregnancy just as much as you did during pregnancy. Correcting any imbalances will help you function at your best!
A Naturopath/Nutritionist can help determine which nutrients you are most needing through taking a detailed case history and through relevant pathology testing. Don’t self -prescribe. Some over the counter supplements are not safe in pregnancy/breastfeeding or don’t contain the right therapeutic dosages to be effective. It is also important not to self-prescribe if you are currently taking prescribed or even some over the counter pharmaceutical products- interactions are possible even with ‘natural’ supplements.
Not making time for movement
Our bodies are designed to move. Movement doesn’t have to mean going to the gym unless that is what you enjoy (remember to make sure that any exercise you do is suitable for you post-pregnancy). Whilst exercise can energise us, if you’re quite depleted, gentle exercise is going to be more beneficial to you than anything too strenuous. Yoga/pilates/stretching/dancing/movement meditation, walking or swimming are all gentle ways to move your body which don’t require a lot of energy. Hiring exercise equipment is helpful for some women or joining forces with a friend to keep you committed and combine movement with social time is an option. Lots of gyms/personal trainers offer child friendly options.
A walk around the block( with your child dependant on your situation) can do wonders to break up the day and reenergise, giving you fresh air and getting your circulation going to overcome that sluggish feeling.
ACTION
Choose a form of movement that you can do daily ( even if it is a 5 minute walk around the block or 5 minutes of stretching when you get up in the morning) and aim to schedule a longer exercise session a few times a week - start small and work your way up to more greater frequency eg. it may be more realistic to commit to a walk around the lake once a week with a friend ( with child in pram if necessary) than planning to do it EVERY day.
Not getting any downtime- being ‘ON’ all of the time.
Motherhood doesn’t stop even once the sun goes down, so we need to create moments of downtime within each day. When I had my first child, I was complaining to a mentor of mine that I no longer had time for meditation each day, her response was “Your baby IS your meditation”. What she meant by this was that the relentlessness of motherhood was giving me an opportunity to practise presence and awareness in the present moment by being focused on my baby. Have you ever noticed that on the days that you’re feeling especially tired/ over motherhood/sick that your children seem to somehow sense it and become even more demanding of your attention? Children often sense when we’re not paying attention or aren’t really listening to them and become more demanding to call us back to attention. This can be frustrating when you’re desperate for a few minutes to yourself, but as the saying goes “what you resist persists” so sometimes taking a few deep breaths and bringing all of your attention into the present moment can not only reassure you’re child that you’re paying attention, but also calm and ground you as well. Mindfulness is a fantastic tool to utilise in motherhood because it is not always physically possible to get away for time out on your own. Mindfulness simply involves bringing all of your awareness into the present moment. It can be great to give us a break from those mental ‘to-do’ lists which tend to run in many Mums minds, creating added stress because you can’t get done all the thing that you need to do!!
ACTION
Periodically throughout the day bring more mindfulness into your activities whether it is doing the dishes, listening to your child or cooking dinner. Bringing awareness firstly to your breath and then bringing all of your attention into whatever activity you are doing ( without thinking about what you have to do next!) creates more space and will lower the cortisol levels ( stress hormones) that are circulating through your body.
Staying up too late
Sleep is essential for optimal functioning. Many Mums (myself included) look back on the early years of motherhood and wonder how they made it through. Whilst it is not always possible to get great sleep if you have a baby or child who wakes frequently through the night, you can aim to practise good sleep habits as best you can around the factors which may be out of your control.
Many Mums report getting a second wind once the kids go to bed or that those few hours when kids are asleep are the only times they get for themselves or to spend with their partner or husband. Both these things are important, but must also be balanced with meeting your own needs for rest. The hours before midnight are the best time for restorative sleep so don’t stay up too late and miss out on that important restorative sleep time! If you don’t feel it is realistic to be in bed early every night, aim for a few earlier nights per week and your body will thank you for it!
If insomnia is an issue there are many natural options that can help. Many of the Mums I work with are quite adrenally fatigued and this can also affect sleep making you tired but too wired to go to sleep. A Naturopath can refer you for adrenal function testing to see if this is an issue for you.
ACTION
Aim to be in bed by 10pm (our most restorative sleep happens before midnight). If this feels way too early for you, gradually go to bed earlier nightly by just 30 minutes eg. if you’re not going to bed until 11.30pm at the moment, move your bedtime to 11pm each night for a week and then to 10.30pm each night for the next week and so on.. you WILL feel better over time.
Being ‘all-or- nothing’ or trying to change too many things at once!
It is important to set realistic goals and to recognise that you may need to do things a little differently when you’re a Mum than before you had children. Many of us have a tendency to be ‘all-or-nothing’ about exercise/healthy/eating/self-care etc and fall in to the trap of doing too much or none at all or throwing in the towel completely when things don’t go according to plan. Setting goals in a way which is realistic and achievable is a very important step to staying on track. Small steps are most often more sustainable than big overhauls or trying to do too much at once!
ACTION
Write a list of the things that you are wanting to change or to achieve and then prioritise them. Work on a maximum of three things at any one time. Break your goals down into action steps and be specific about how and when you will implement the actions that will lead you towards reaching your goals.
Getting caught up in the daily grind and forgetting to stop and see the good things in your life
This comes back to point 1 of not prioritising yourself or your needs and also point 7 of being on the go all the time.
Many Mums feel that they lose touch with themselves and the things that they enjoy. Also, when we’re tired it can feel like it’s all a hard slog and we can forget to stop and be grateful for all of the good things in our lives.
ACTION
Notice how it makes you feel if you stop and think about 3 things that you are grateful for? This simple practice has the ability to change your mindset- start and end each day by either mentally listing or actually writing down 3 things that you are grateful for. Even on the most challenging days, there are things to be grateful for! Whilst it may not seem like it at the time, the years do go by quickly and our children very quickly grow up. It is easy to become focused on the frustrations or limitations and forget to see the gems and enjoy the precious moments..
Want more simple tips to help you get your energy back and feel better as you navigate motherhood? Download my free audio discussion here https://blossomwellbeing.com.au/free-resources/
You can also read about my 6 session package which is individually tailored to YOU to help you get your energy back!
https://blossomwellbeing.com.au/im-so-tired/
